A few Grade Five kids caught up with me in the school yard while I was on yard duty today.

Well, that’s probably not quite true. They were standing in a long row across the netball court playing ‘Elimination’ together. You know the game – the first person has a shot at goal (on a basketball backboard), and if they get the goal, they go to the end of the line and are still in. If they miss, the next player has their turn and if they get it in, the first person is out. Play continues until one person is left. Well, they were playing that, and half of them were from my grade last year. I wandered across mainly because I noticed the kid who was out lying down on the asphalt so I had to go across and ask if he was out.

‘Yep! HE got me out!!’ while pointing with a friendly accusing finger to one of the other boys.

‘HE got you out? Gee, you must really suck!‘

‘Yep!’

Anyway, this lead to half of them crowding around asking that great question the kids from your previous year always end up asking you…

‘We were your best grade, weren’t we, Mr V?’

How do you answer that?

There are probably new teachers out there right now wondering how you mould the kids into a perfect grade. How you change the behaviour of the whole group to fit that perfect mould. Where they listen intently, work hard, produce great work that all comes out great, don’t talk out of line and behave impeccably all day. Well, to those people, I say ‘don’t fix what ain’t broke‘!

Bad behaviour, yeah, for sure, work on changing that… but who really wants a perfect grade? A perfect grade is what you make of it. Let’s take that question from above again.

‘We were the best grade, weren’t we, Mr V?’

How do you answer that?

It’s true, last year’s group were fantastic. And they quite possibly pipped the grade before that as the best I’ve had, although there are kids in each grade I’ve really enjoyed. Okay, there have been a few grades that have given me merry hell all year, but I take the approach that if you can find one of two kids in each grade that make it absolutely worth your while to come to work every day, then no matter what the rest of the grade’s like, you can still enjoy your job.

Fortunately, the last few years have been very good. It’s been a while since I’ve had what I’d consider a ‘hard’ grade. And boy, was that particular one a doozy! On the plus side though, I still get along really well with one of the kids and keep in touch fairly regularly, so I also see that year as one I wouldn’t have swapped.

But how do you answer the kids when they ask you that? Because you know it’s going to filter back to the kids you’re teaching right now, and probably to the kids you taught the year before, who asked you last year if they were the best. And so on and so on.

I’ve got a really interesting mob this year too. Not a single behaviour problem amongst the whole lot of them. Not a single kid on medication or tablets. And often not a single kid who would rather sit still and listen than have a good old chat with whoever may currently be sitting next to them.

Yep. They’re a great, big, dirty mob of chin-waggers. And it’s taken me until nearly the end of May to regularly get them sitting relatively quietly on the floor to listen to me. It’s only these last few weeks where they’ve cottoned on to the fact that, hey, guess what, I’M the bloke you’re supposed to be listening to, not Noddy sitting next to you!

So yes, each day I’ll work to keep them listening and not carrying on their own conversations or piping up with their own contributions to the discussion without bothering with the process of putting their hand up first and waiting their turn. I mean… that just takes too long, eh? By the time Mr V gets ’round to me it’ll be too late, and besides… what I have to say is so funny it’ll make you all wet yourselves!!

Yep. It’s one of those groups of kids.

But… really… do I need to clamp down on them and turn them into a bunch of quiet, attentive little gnomes sitting serenely before me? They generally work hard, they get along with each other, and they look out for each other. Okay, I had to have a stern little chat with one feller who gave one across the face to one of the girls during lunchtime, but he stood in front of everyone afterwards and told them why our grade wouldn’t get a Yard Behaviour award this week. A one off blue like that doesn’t tarnish the kid for the whole year.

I honestly couldn’t see this group of kids working as well if they sat quietly all day and barely said ‘boo’. It just wouldn’t be right. Actually, it’d be downright spooky!

So no… while they’ll talk the handle off a door while underwater with a mouthful of marbles, I think I’ll put up with that side of them in return for a group that enjoy coming each day, enjoy each other’s company, and make me laugh.

Who wants a perfect grade? I reckon I’ve got one pretty close as it is.

‘Ouch,’ said Limpy. ‘Why’s my back hurting?’

A horrible thought hit him. Perhaps it was a fork wound. Perhaps while he was unconscious the human had tried to eat him. He looked around.

‘Stack me,’ said Limpy.

All he could see was blue plastic.

Limpy’s on a quest to find toad heaven. A place where cane toads won’t be blown up with bike pumps or bashed over the head with folding chairs. Limpy’s determined to find this place if it takes the rest of his life.

But first he has to get out of the bucket.

The first sequel to Morris Gleitzman’s original Toad book, Toad Rage, Toad Heaven continues the adventures of Limpy the cane toad and his goal of finding a way to keep the rest of his cane toad relatives safe from being run over on the highway by humans in their cars. Whereas the first children’s novel focused on Limpy trying to make humans treat cane toads with respect, Toad Heaven sees Limpy trying to find a fabled ‘national park’ where all living things are protected from harm. Joining him on his adventures once more are his younger sister Charm and his bigger, stronger, more handsome, somewhat stupider cousin Goliath.

Once more, Goliath intends to bash up any human he can find along the way, and eats pretty much anything he can get his tongue around, including a few creatures he probably really shouldn’t. Along the way the cane toads must face a flock of sheep, a scientist intent on killing them all with virus germs, a swarm of fire ants, a flooded national park and the cunning plans of Malcolm, who intends to sell the other cane toads prime real estate at very reasonable rental prices.

Published at the end of 2001 in Australia, it races along again through 30 short, sharp chapters that generally keep the kids laughing along and wondering what mess the cane toads will get themselves into next time. It can also introduce them to various national parks and places in northern Australia, and fits in nicely with a theme on rainforets, which is nice as that’s the theme we were working on at the time.

Like Toad Rage, and the third book in the series, Toad Away, Toad Heaven is another book I read religiously each year with whatever grade I teach. In every case, once Toad Rage is complete, the kids wait impatiently for the following term so this second book can be read. They’ll wait eagerly for third term again for the final book in the series.

It’s a great, quick read, full of fun characters and exciting, humourous adventures but with a heart of gold and a few morals the kids can soak in as well. If you’re interested, you can read the entire first chapter of Toad Heaven here at the Morris Gleitzman Collection.

Related Posts: Review – Toad Rage

You hear a lot of talk about teachers through the media and your every day man on the street. Your every day woman on the street too, but I’ll use the common phrase here and if anyone gets their back up because it’s not politically correct then just substitute the gender of your choice and read on, eh?

That’s the way.

Especially now that, here in Victoria, the Government and the Union have come to terms over a new pay deal (which is still to be signed off on – no word on when that may happen, but that’s another issue I’m not interested in rabbitting on about), there’s talk about what we should also be doing to earn it. Or, what we’re already doing to earn it but what the Government wants us to do as well. I’m just going to leave this bit hanging though and say that, often, especially in regards to building a relationship with the kids, it doesn’t start and end with those two book-end bell tolls at the start and end of each day. I find it carries on, and is often more powerful, when developed outside the school setting.

And I’d like to add too that, for me, it’s just as rewarding for myself as the kid, maybe more so in some cases. At school, the relationship is always that of the student and the teacher. If you play the card right though, outside of the school setting, these kids you’ve made an effort getting to know start to move closer to equals without losing that respect for you. I know several kids who see me closer to an equal rather than just a past teacher because they saw me showing an interest. In school situations they switch back (usually, it must be said – you can’t always keep the cheek down, eh?) to that student to teacher relationship, but once outside of that again, it’s back to a healthy mutual respect.

I’m sure other teachers may disagree with this in some cases and prefer not to blur that line between the relationship, and that’s fair enough. For me though, a bit of blurring outside of the school grounds can work wonders for both parties. There’s things kids won’t necessarily feel comfortable sharing with a teacher, but if they see you as something more than that, they’ll open up if they think they need to.

Here’s where I’m going to with this.

One of my kids let me know that he and his family were off to watch the footy on Saturday night, down at the MCG. We both support the Bombers, despite their very ordinary year so far (and the prospect of much more pain to come in the near future!), and I told him that I’d be down there watching too. Well, he had to know where I’d be sitting so I showed him the back of my membership card and he told me he’d be sitting somewhere down at ground level.

‘Maybe I’ll see you there then, eh?’

By Friday they’d given me their seat number so what else could I do but wander along before the game started and say hello, eh? I’ve met with kids at the footy the odd time before (once sneaking my way into the ticketed Members stand to do so – that’s another story), and besides, this kid’s a real genuine little feller. I caught them wandering out of one of the retail shops there just before the game (there goes $100+ in merchandise right there!) and had a quick little chat with him before the match started.

Then the family coming with them appeared around the corner. Someone’s been telling stories about me because once I’d been introduced (’who’s this bloke hanging around your son?’) it was all excitement from these people I’d never met. I’ll have to ask him what was said on Monday… you shouldn’t get that excited meeting a kid’s teacher at the footy, surely?

Anyway, instead of sneaking into their ticketed area to find them for a decent chat later, we organised to meet just beyond that rail I wasn’t allowed to step beyond (but I’d have found a way…) at halftime.

Now, I know right now that this is now one family I’m never going to have an issue with, and one kid who I’m pretty sure I’ll have on my side for the rest of his primary school career. How? One little visit at a place the kid is interested in. Show you share their interests (even if you wouldn’t generally do so normally – kids just appreciate you turning up) and their trust just builds.

And what did I get out of it?

A got half an hour of quality time with a top little kid and his family and a strong little parting handshake.

Monday it will be student to teacher again, but below that facade will be a stronger level of respect from both of us.

To me, that’s something that will help the kid more than a week of schooling.

A few weeks ago we started on an initiative known as the Trivia Challenge, organised through schools by the Epilepsy Foundation of Victoria. The aim is to increase the kids’ awareness and understanding of epilepsy as well as give them a challenging, fun activity in regards to working in teams to answer various trivia questions. We took part last year and a team of our Grade Four kids got through the the final in Melbourne, which was a fantastic result. This year, we’re taking part again.

First, we warmed them up a few days earlier with a grade challenge of 25 questions, and gave them some ideas on epilepsy, how it’s caused, what it does, and how to help someone who has it, etc. Then we split the kids into teams of four and gave them an hour in the afternoon to answer as many of the 100 questions as they could. Our highest scoring teams from each Grade level will then move on to the next level of competition. As of yet we haven’t announced those teams.

Great idea, but part of participation in the Challenge is the obligation to donate money to the Epilepsy Foundation of Victoria, which is where Stripes Day comes in. One of the questions asked whether wearing striped socks could cause a seizure. The answer, clearly, is no. But this made us think of holding a Stripes Day to raise the money to be donated. So tomorrow, everybody wears striped clothes instead of school uniform and makes a gold coin donation. All money collected is passed on to the Foundation. Great idea.

Except it meant me spending this afternoon hitting the shops looking for pants with stripes on them…

Tomorrow will cost the kids $1 each… tomorrow will cost me $35…

All in a good cause though, eh?

And now for a quick band update.

Great success was our first performance of the year earlier this week, which gave the kids a nice little top up of confidence going into this afternoon’s rehearsal. With five of them, it’s somewhat light hearted and easy going, but that just makes it a fun half hour or so for me after work as well.

We tried another song we hadn’t touched for a while and it seemed to come together pretty well – a few more run throughs and it’ll be up to performing standard – when they started asking for something from a particular movie.

The new Indiana Jones movie starts today, so it was in the kids’ heads at the time. Seems they wanted to play something from the Indy movies. Well, last year we had a quick look at ‘Raider’s March‘, the theme from the movies. They couldn’t play it too well at all last year, but we brought it out this afternoon and the five of them had a run through with myself topping up the brass line.

Fair dinkum, we could almost play it next week if we had to, they read through it that well. There’s a few holes to fill with instruments we haven’t got, and a few bits that are tricky and need work, but nothing the five of them couldn’t pull off. They’re demanding another assembly performance as soon as possible, and a gig outside of the school immediately now too! Looks like Indy’s gonna get a run somewhere soon, no matter how few times we’ve ever played it!

So looks like we’ll be fronting the assembly in two Monday’s time to blast ‘Raider’s March‘ throughout the multipurpose room, and they don’t know it yet, but a local Arts Festival has just sent us a request to play there later on too…

Indy rides again, eh?

This week, May 18th to 24th, is Education Week in Victoria. It’s an annual initiative of the Department of Education and Early Childhood Development (another name change!), and the official site is here. If, like me, you really don’t care too much for what’s on official education websites and things, then here’s a cut and paste job from their front page.

‘Education Week will be celebrated by Victorian government schools and kindergartens from 18-24 May 2008.

During the week, schools and kindergartens are encouraged to hold activities that engage parent and community networks while profiling their learning opportunities and achievements.

Open days, art shows, musical performances and other special events are among the many activities that give an insight into the vibrant education settings in which young Victorians learn, thrive and grow.‘

Learn, thrive and grow seems to be the current hype phrase this year.

Anyway, that explains why the Band played at the assembly, and why today the 3/4 Unit opened their doors to parents, grandparents and any friends of the kids who wanted to rock up to come in and spend part of the morning with us to see what goes on in these classrooms. It was quite a good turn out in regards to the number of parents and families we had drifting through during the day. Also gives us a chance to sometimes meet parents for the first time, which can make the parent teacher interviews in the next few weeks a bit more relaxed. We have five grades in the unit, which causes a few timetabling problems. In this case, a half hour rotation activity for each grade doesn’t fit nicely into two hours, so we had to carry it over after recess. That’s fine, but by the time the kids finally got back to our own grade (with a few parents in tow), they’d just about reached the end of their tethers and were quite unready to settle back down again.

Had to give them a quick growl and remind them that we had an audience today and they were embarrassing themselves. Didn’t seem to make much difference. Sending them around the oval for a run seemed to work though. At least, it gave the parents a good excuse to skedaddle out of there!

To be fair though, the morning rotation activities (language and maths games spread around the five grades) worked well. The first two hours have never passed so quickly, but at the same time, you definitely knew you’d earned your pay at the end of it. I spent the morning playing dice maths games with the 120 odd kids that passed through the room. It was a fairly easy activity that all but ran itself, but I still felt like I’d done nine rounds with a big red roo at the end of it.

Ah, Education Week. Fantastic idea, well worth the effort, looking forward to it again next year.

Just glad it’s only the once!

No, the little picture alongside this post has nothing much to do with the content today. The last time any of the kids from the School Spirit webcomic where I take these pictures from held an instrument of any sort was about four years ago. A band was supposed to feature irregularly through the strip, but that idea quickly died because drawing kids with instruments is only slightly better than having a ferret down your trousers.

So you get Casper sitting quietly by the fence post instead. Be happy and read, eh?

I’m the music coordinator at school. That probably conjures up images of spending my days sitting in front of grades of children singing songs, handing out the percussion instruments, hyping them all up with dancing games and silly songs and then sending them off again as the next grade trundles in. No.

That’s a sure fire way to make me lose the plot, blow a foofle valve and quite possibly burn the school down.

Give me my own grade of kids I can get to know and enjoy over teaching the entire school for forty five minutes every week or two any day. I’d much rather get to know 25 kids really well than entertain 400 kids and know them barely by name only. That’s not my idea of teaching, although I credit those who can work that way.

But I am still considered the music coordinator. Because I’m the bloke who knows how to play music and stand in front of the school band (as little as possible – I start them off then slink to the side – they don’t need me waving a finger or clicking in time) when they perform anywhere. Yes, I do a little classroom music with the 3/4 Unit, but I can deal with that because I get my own kids back again the next morning. I’m also the bloke who teaches the brass instruments (well, trumpet this year – no kid was brave enough to try the trombone – which is probably fair enough, it weighs a lot when you’re nine) and bass guitar (I just have to make sure I know more than the kid, eh?).

Well… this year’s band had their first performance yesterday – at the school assembly to start Education Week. There’s only five of them this year. We had 10 last year, but six of them went to highschool, leaving four behind. One of their brothers jumped in this year to play drums for us, which now meant our original drummer could have a break and bring in his electric guitar. Which I find really refreshing because now we can add a little bit of grunt to our songs – even if the original scores never called for an electric guitar solo to cut sick through the middle.

So here were our five kids sitting in the corner featuring a drum kit, a bass guitar, the electric guitar (will be a great rhythm section before the year is out), with a flute and trumpet to carry the melody. Not a large group, and missing clarinets and saxophones and a few more flutes (they’re not as loud as they think they are!), but you can only play the cards you’re dealt, eh?

Only one question though.

What sort of deck has five Jokers??

To be fair to them though, they enjoy their music, have fun with it, and for a group of five all aged 10 to 12, they give a good little show. From the moment we started with our Aussie Mozzie song and the trumpeter stood up with only his mouthpiece and buzzed a mosquito sound out across the hall, we pretty well had the school in our hands. The Preps in particular went right off their collective faces and couldn’t stop giggling. After two quick, simple little pieces to start the morning off, we let the assembly continue. Our trump card was still to come.

After sitting through the assembly and resisting the urge to blow our trumpets and flutes, tap our drums or pluck our strings (the guitar in particular was plugged into the same speaker as the microphone the principal was speaking through), the kids made a deliberate scene of turning their music stands around to make sure everyone realised we were playing this piece without music and we launched into a nice little blues piece. It was a simple riff repeating itself, but the were tight and the crowd started clapping in time (if only they were as tight!). Then we pulled out the big guns.

First our trumpeter and then our guitarist broke into improvised solos, making up their piece as they went along. For the trumpeter, it was his first ever solo, and something he’d only learnt how to do two weeks ago. For the guitarist, who’s an old hand at this, he just cut sick and played.

There might just be five of them, but I reckon they’d give most any other primary school band a right run for their money. They may not look as professional and neat and tidy and well drilled as most, but they’ll take an audience along for the ride.

This year both our Grade 5/6 Unit and our Grade 3/4 Unit are entering a choir piece into the local Eisteddfod. Partly because our current theme for this term is Australia’s Places and featuring deserts, rainforests and other cool places like that, and because the kids enjoy a bit of light history and a good little song, we’ve chosen to go with the Seekers’ anthem, ‘I Am Australian‘. Today we ran the kids who chose to turn up to the first practice at lunchtime through the song, and now it falls to me to teach them all the song during our Rotations activities. So… here’s the latest addition to the School Spirit Classroom Songs list.

I Am Australian

I came from the Dreamtime, from the dusty red soil plains.
I am the ancient heart, the keeper of the flame.
I stood upon the rocky shore, I watched the tall ships come.
For forty thousand years I’d been the first Australian.

I came upon a prison ship bound down by iron chains.
I cleared the land, endured the lash and waited for the rains.
I’m a settler, I’m a farmer’s wife on a dry and barren run.
A convict then a free man, I became Australian.

I’m the daughter of a digger who sought the mother lode.
The girl became a woman on a long and dusty road.
I’m a child of the Depression – I saw the good times come.
I’m a bushy, I’m a battler, I am Australian.

We are one but we are many
And from all the lands on Earth we come.
We share a dream and sing with one voice
“I am, you are, we are Australian.”

I’m a teller of stories, I’m a singer of songs.
I am Albert Namatjira and I paint the ghostly gums.
I’m Clancy on his horse, I’m Ned Kelly on the run.
I’m the one who waltzed Matilda, I am Australian.

I’m the hot wind of the desert, I’m the black soil of the plains.
I’m the mountains and the valleys, I’m the droughts and flooding rains.
I am the Rock, I am the sky, the rivers when they run.
The spirit of this great land, I am Australian.

We are one, but we are many
And from all the lands on Earth we come.
We share a dream and sing with one voice
“I am, you are, we are Australian.
I am, you are, we are Australian.”

If anyone is interested, the chord progression is as follows – (// signifies a new line in the lyrics)

C / F C // Am / F G C // C / F G Am // C Dm / F G C //

Chorus follows as -

C / F C // Am G / C // C // F C // F G / Am G / F G C //

Straight off the bat from our excursion to the local National Park alpine rainforest on Friday, today saw the entire 3/4 Unit catch a couple of buses across town to the local Showgrounds. There, amidst the mild May rain, beneath the blanket of cirrocumulus clouds blocking out the sun, and rolling through the damp grassy expanses of the town’s main oval, they were to run through a gamut of various fun footy skills, all under the eye of players from the St Kilda Football Club.

Well, we were there, and so were the players… but it didn’t quite turn out like that.

Seems they decided to pack up all the activities because of the light rain once we got there. This disappointed the kids, but it seems it was done to avoid the possibility of any injuries. The kids now reckon this is the one reason why St Kilda will never win a Premiership. How can you expect to be the best if you’re too scared the play in the rain? The kids were all fired up, but they got over it.

Instead, both schools who had turned up were ushered into the members’ bar rooms. First there was one inside session with a few players, then a question and answer session with the others in another part of the building. The first activity? Heads and Tails.

You know the game. If you choose Heads, you stand up one end of the room. If you choose Tails, you stand up the other. The coin is flipped, and the winning side stays in the game and another round begins. Easy. Now picture it with approximately 100 kids! Can you imagine what was going through our minds at this point as teachers?? Yup. Chaos and bedlam! To be fair though, the kids kept themselves under control fairly well, and the footy bloke managed to keep them all entertained through three entire games of this before we eventually decided enough was enough and sent the entire lot of them for a run around the outside of the oval.

Next, it was in to share questions and answers with the other players. I must say that the three we spoke with did a fantastic job. They listened and answered all the kids questions and kept their attention all the way through, often having them rolling with laughter at various spots too. They came across as very nice individuals and the kids left raving about them. Even kids wearing different coloured footy tops were lining up to get their backs and sleeves signed. The players themselves, they thought it was great signing their names on the guernseys of teams they didn’t even play for!

All up, it turned out to be a good afternoon, even if I didn’t get to man the tackle bags activity this year. I was really looking forward to that…

You can line the kids up and absolutely smash them into the ground, and they think it’s absolutely brilliant!

I call it ‘Name Your Mark’.

Maybe next year, eh?

You couldn’t write about it!

Two days ago I posted a lengthy (for this blog, at least) piece about a newspaper article I read concerning the different varieties of ‘ugly parent’, to use the current buzz word. I named it Parents Behaving Badly and, while I mentioned the six varieties this article highlighted at it’s conclusion, I also pointed out a few things I thought would nicely balance the post.

Firstly, I’ve found most parents highly approachable and, once their trust in you is high enough, more than willing to accommodate any discussions, concerns or outright jokes at their or their kids expense you may wish to share with them. I like a good laugh. Even if it’s at my expense. Secondly, I noted that I’d been lucky and have managed to avoid anything too serious or sinister from the parents of the kids I’ve taught so far, and a few reasons how I thought I had managed that. How quickly things like that come back to bite you firmly on the freckle, eh?

We took five grades of kids to the local national park today. About forty minutes out of town – a great place it is, and it’s always a successful excursion. The rain held off until the buses arrived to pick us up, when it fair belted it down, but we got back relatively dry and not too cold considering the weather. Then, Friday afternoon, what else could I do than offer some quiet free time to kill the rest of the afternoon. An easy end to the day, and I packed them up at 3:10, leaving us twenty minutes to finish off the week and head home.

The bell rang and, just before sending them off for their weekend, got their attention one last time to remind them of what they’d need to bring for our footy clinic on Monday. Then, off they went and had the car packed by 3:36 and was back in the staff room to wind down for a half hour or so.

Then I get a phone call…

A parent asking to speak with me who wouldn’t give his name. Sounds promising, eh?

Apparently I’d kept the grade in after the bell to do more work and some parents have tight schedules and can’t afford to wait in the rain for teachers like myself to decide when to release the kids on a whim and maybe I should think about that in future. A tight schedule, yet he managed to get home and try to bail me up within ten minutes of the final bell. Nice job. Hope the coppers weren’t out with speed guns this afternoon. I just answered with a few ‘yeah, fair enoughs’ and asked who his daughter might be. It’s important to know who you’re speaking with, eh? Especially if they know you.

Apparently that wasn’t important, so he maintained his anonymity and the quick, passive-aggressive conversation ended shortly afterwards with myself trying to hold back a chuckle as I thought back to that entry I posted two days ago. Thing is… I only have 10 girls in the grade anyway… and I’ve met the parents of nine of them!

Yep, it gives you a shake once you hang that phone up, but not for too long. My main concern now is that Monday morning I have to focus on continuing the good relationship I have with this particular student after such a petty little aggressive complaint from her parent. That’s the bit that I don’t find fair.

Here’s a tip, parents. If you’re not happy about something that, when you really come right down to it, is quite trivial, front up face to face. We generally don’t bite. Besides… you never know. You might actually find you like us.

Funnier things have happened, eh?

Related Posts: Parents behaving badly…